Illa sat with one of his vampire romances (of course he'd packed some) as Thairn and Mickey used the bedroom before bed, the door open, sounds emerging that sometimes made Illa flush red and hide his face in the book, even though no one was looking. Thairn, especially. The sound of him--sometimes her--sent tingles down Illa's spine, made him feel things he wasn't used to feeling for Thairn.
Illa focused on his book, or tried to, not on the way he wanted Thairn to touch him, the distracting sensations of arousal, the way it all tied into the passage in the book. If they caught Illa out here touching himself to all of it, it'd be...
It'd be what? Maybe Thairn would touch him. Maybe give him those noises to make. Maybe Thairn would bite Illa while he did, maybe...
Thairn did find him there, and made to dart back into the bedroom with Mickey. But Illa beckoned Thairn over, until Thairn had perched on the couch next to Illa. Thairn pressed the pages of Illa's book open--gently, so that Illa could refuse if he wanted--and rested his cheek against Illa's.
Thairn had an elegant voice, and it was with his precise diction that he read into Illa's ear, "'I could see the haunted hunger in his eyes. He approached, and one pale finger drifted down my neck, like a chill snowfall.'" Thairn took his own finger and traced it along Illa's throat.
No chill, there, but it made Illa lean back into him. Was Thairn going to...?
"'He spoke to me through the contact, hungers whispering in my mind. Thinking to scare me away. That I would realize he was a monster, and drive him off for all his sins.'" There was a pause, there, and a bitter smile that twisted Thairn's expression. Illa felt aware, then, of his wings pressed against the back of the couch. Leaned forward unconsciously at the realization. But then reached over for Thairn, to soothe the hurt Illa could already see forming.
Illa read the next line himself. "'But I loved him, who he really was. The one who'd saved me from the true monsters. I leaned back my head, bared my beating pulse to him. And pleaded through my skin. Take me. It's alright.'" And Illa did, curving his head back to leave his throat exposed. Reassurance and request all at once.
Thairn read on. "'My monster bent to me, silently pleading me to change my mind all the while, but unable to resist my sanguine siren song.'"
He turned his lips to Illa's throat as he read, until his breath heated Illa's skin, leaving goosebumps to rise. "'The tip of one sharp fang pricked my flesh, and at that drop of blood the run of his thoughts disappeared, replaced by need and hunger, pumping through our link, our desires twinned by telepathy. He bit--'"
And Thairn's elegant voice ceased, replaced by the sweet ache of teeth in Illa's throat. Illa writhed in Thairn's arms, reaching down to touch himself again. No room for embarrassment in this embrace, not when Thairn ravaged him so, letting go only to pull fresh pain from Illa's skin. As the text continued on to further intimacies, so, too, did Thairn's touch, hesitant before Illa guided where Thairn's hand could go, accepting, wanting, and answered then by Thairn's firm confidence. It was searingly intense, to feel Thairn's hand caress his shaft. Thairn's tongue lapped up imagined blood, until Illa lost himself in the fantasy. Surrendering to Thairn's arms, Thairn's touch, Thairn's teeth.
Through the haze, Illa could feel the urgency of his desire building, as Thairn drew him closer to completion. Pulled back from it and nearly out of the fantasy when the heat of Thairn's healing washed over Illa's throat. But in the next moment, Illa realized why, because when those teeth sank into the raw new skin, the dull fae incisors felt sharp enough to pierce, and that palm firm against him, stroking him, ah--
He came in a free rush of feeling, shaking in Thairn's arms. Trusting. And earning, as his reward, the brilliance of satisfaction in Thairn's eyes when he let Illa down, the possessiveness in Thairn's touch when he cleaned Illa off. Thairn kissed that final bite, but not with healing. Just a touch of his lips to give Illa's sensitive skin a reminder.
Thairn returned to the bedroom after not much longer. Treating it like a scene, and giving Illa space to recover. Illa wasn't sure if he needed that, but he didn't argue the point. He felt so many, many things that the time alone was welcome.
He'd never let Thairn touch him like that before. Never asked Thairn to touch him like that before. That it had felt--heavens, amazing--had been expected. Thairn was very expert at seductions.
That it had felt so comfortable was unexpected. Illa had never wanted Thairn to do anything sexual to him--with him. Until tonight. Was it just the romance novel? Except he read those around Thairn all the time. It could be kink, maybe. Illa got sexual about kink sometimes.
He closed his eyes and pictured reciprocating. There was still something of submission to it, service given and accepted. Something warm and flushed and heady to it, too. The idea of doing it was... it felt very, very right.
And Thairn had stayed respectful of Illa. Only touched where Illa had guided. Illa pictured it again, tried to pull the kink out of it, but there was no way to disentangle them. Submitting to pleasure was submitting, as far as he felt about it.
He'd have to explain that to Thairn, but Illa also wasn't sure how much that mattered. If he wanted to do things for Thairn and wanted to receive things from Thairn, did the exact way Illa liked it really make a difference? The better question was what exactly they each wanted.
What did he want, anyway? He let his mind run through imaginings. And eventually fell asleep on the couch, still contemplating.
Mickey invited Jack to join them all for breakfast. Illa had made it, French toast and roast potatoes and tender scrambled eggs. Damned good, and Jack agreed, eating heartily. Finally, towards the end of the meal, Jack had the courage to ask how Illa was connected to the two of them.
"Oh," Mickey said, careless. "He's Thairn's fiancé."
"How?" Jack asked.
"It's legal where they're from."
"Does he know..." Jack tried to communicate in gestures he's cheating on him with you without actually saying the words or making the gestures too clear. Adorable.
"Probably more than he would like to know, yes. But, we're life-saving buddies, it's fine."
That took Jack aback. "You're not expecting..."
"Somehow, your girlfriend has not fallen for my excellent charms, so no, alas."
"I thought you were doing that as a joke."
"I am, I am, probably. It's okay, she's only got fangs for you."
"Actually, most of her blood comes from..."
"Well, then, you don't have room to judge, do you?"
"That doesn't even make sense. Is he a vampire?"
"No, just pale and immortal with red eyes, it's really nothing." Mickey paused and turned to Thairn. "If he goes out anywhere, don't forget you have to invite him back in."
Thairn shook his head, letting some amusement leak.
"The wings?" Jack asked.
Illa, straight-faced, as he loaded Jack up with seconds. "Haven't you ever heard about vampires who can fly?"
After breakfast, Jack went out to bring the car around. Thairn had Mickey linger a moment to kiss him goodbye. A linger that ran a little longer than socially usual.
"I'll be back," Mickey reassured. "It's only a few hours."
"I know."
"And the last time a cult started sacrificing anyone around here, it was all virgins. You've got me plenty covered there."
"I knew the name of this town sounded familiar, " Illa said.
Thairn shook his finger. "I will have you know that is not comforting. Faeries don't count."
"Well, there's been humans, so I still think I'm okay. Besides, they went after hearts, and we both know I'm utterly heartless."
That sent Thairn into giggles, and Mickey kissed his forehead. Then they were off, and Illa and Thairn left alone.
"About last night." Illa said, after Mickey had left.
Thairn's hands clenched around his mug. Nervous and allowing it to show. Last night's joyful glow had cooled overnight into twisting anxiety, especially when Illa had never come to bed. Worries that Thairn had misinterpreted somehow. Overstepped somehow. That Illa would decide it was a mistake. Illa had never wanted anything sexual with Thairn before.
"Yes, dear?" Thairn tensed for the blow.
"I don't know if I'm generally sexually attracted to you, or just comfortable with you sexually."
That took Thairn a second to parse. For the tension to realize there wasn't a blow coming. To feel ease start to creep up on him.
"How do you not know?" Thairn asked, with genuine confusion.
Illa shrugged uncomfortably. "It's sometimes vague for me."
This wasn't as... distressing as Thairn had anticipated. It wasn't a rejection, nor a rebuff. Illa actively wanting Thairn, and Illa being comfortable enough with Thairn for sexual elements in their kink, those both sounded... Heavens. Yes.
"I continue to be attracted to you," Thairn said. "As you likely know?"
Illa nodded. "I can't 'tell', but you've said as much, and you haven't told me it's changed."
To Thairn's mind, it was blazingly obvious, but how would one distinguish that from the outside? Their kink alone would muddy the waters, give reason for his gaze to constantly stray to Illa.
"So," Thairn asked. "What do either of those possibilities mean, for the two of us?" The surface of the tea in Thairn's mug shaking a bit in response to his--excitement? Nervousness? Some blend of the two.
Illa looked away, a gesture Thairn had come to realize was Illa's way of steadying himself non-submissively. "They both mean about the same, as far as I'm concerned. I don't know if the distinction makes a difference for you."
Thairn frowned, gazing down at his tea. "I suppose... they're both wonderful news, in my view. I'd rather be actively wanted than merely accepted, but--"
Illa raised his hands. "No, you don't understand. I think I phrased it wrong. I'm not sure what the underlying feeling behind it is, or means, but I want to..." His face reddened.
Thairn felt his heart skip a beat.
Illa pressed on. "There are a few things I'd like to try, with you? Nothing that would trigger the--the marriage," because certain activities would do that, would automatically marry them to each other by law and magic, "But last night was good. And reciprocating would be..." He covered his face, completely pink.
Thairn curled his fingers against the sides of the mug and felt the want he usually kept bottled. So much, he feared at first the flood would overwhelm him, would drive him to start pushing again, and he'd learned so well not to push--
"Are you okay?" Illa's voice, soft, piercing through Thairn's thoughts.
"I want..." Thairn licked his lips. Continued. "I want that so badly, I'm afraid I'll drive you away. Again."
Illa looked at Thairn. Contemplative. "Why do you think you will?"
"This feeling is just so intense." Thairn gestured shakily to his heart. "It's built up for so long, and we've finally hit this equilibrium that I treasure, and I..." Tears pricking mercilessly at his eyes, threatening to strangle his words. "I don't want to ruin this."
Illa reached his hand out across the table and rested it over Thairn's. Soothing and tantalizing all at once. Thairn shook, his body relaxing into the touch despite himself, despite everything.
"I love you," Thairn said. "And I want you. And I don't want to hurt you with either of those things, ever again."
Illa nodded. "Let's work out a scene."
That took Thairn off-guard. "What?"
"A scene. Just one. So we don't have to figure everything out, all at once. You're good with scenes, in my experience. You're always good with my boundaries, when you can be. And I want to make this... something where we're both talking about what we want, together."
Thairn nodded, slowly, shakily. "I, ah... I know you want to talk about one time. But I want you to know, in general... I still want everything else we have. It doesn't have to involve the sexual all the time, or even most of the time. Sometimes I even don't want it to be sexual, though I haven't... it's still new for me, this feeling."
Illa squeezed Thairn's hand. Illa of all people understood that not-understanding, didn't he? A comfort, that.
"That matches my preferences," Illa answered. "I don't want all of our scenes to have a sexual element." He took a long breath. "But I do want some to, if you're okay with that."
For all Thairn's worries, he could not possibly turn that down. "Yes." Breathed, and found he could do so easily, without shaking. "What sorts of things are you thinking of, for our next sexual 'scene'?"
That flush again. Thairn loved those flushes.
"I, um." Illa, all fluttering nerves. "I was thinking about that last night. After we..."
Mm, the delight that gave Thairn. "Is that what you fell asleep doing?"
Illa nodded, jerky, quick.
Thairn felt that last, lingering tension melt away. "Did you want to do roleplay again?"
"No, um. Maybe later. I was thinking that I wanted to reciprocate."
"You mean you want to touch me." Thairn felt his breath come hot and unsteady. His hand turned to grip Illa's. "Yes. Heavens, yes. Please."
Illa's pupils larger now, and the way he was gazing at Thairn... Thairn couldn't tear his eyes away. To feel wanted.
"What kind of reciprocation do you want?" Illa asked.
That question. Heavens. "Could I tell you some things I enjoy and have you choose among them? I want to... the more I can feel this is coming from you, I..."
Illa nodded. "Of course."
They held hands and discussed. What Thairn might like. What Illa might enjoy in response. And a request, from Thairn, for Illa not to declare what he'd chosen to do ahead of time. To somehow, greedily, come away with both clear negotiation and playful spontaneity.
Illa dressed Thairn in their usual routine. On a button-up shirt, pulling the holes over the wings just so, settling the fabric down flat against Thairn's back with precise tugs. And brushing the backs of fingers over them, more contact than usual. Ahh.
Illa walked around to Thairn's front, began to do the buttons. One, and two, and another quick flutter of fingers over bare skin.
Illa was red in the cheeks, breathing fast, trembling slightly.
Thairn took that in with giddy delight. "Dear." All his fondness in that word.
Illa took a long breath in, and a long breath out, and continued. Buttons up, all the way until just below the collarbone, as Thairn preferred. And then another caress of those fingers, cool against the sensitive skin of Thairn's throat, enough to offer goosebumps. Thairn leaned into the touch. Watched Illa, careful.
Illa ran his thumb along vein and tendon, that slight quiver to it still, and there was something so tender to it that Thairn's eyes shut.
Thairn knew the options he'd offered, but hadn't the faintest idea what Illa had chosen, nor how far he'd decided to go with things. Thairn suspected, of course, but it almost seemed too much to hope. So focus went instead to what this was. Immersing himself in the now.
Illa's touch departed, after a moment, moved on to more. Jeans today, and a belt cinched to just the right length, adjustments to fit and place. Jewelry, inserted careful through long-worn piercings.
Around Thairn's earlobe, breath's heat and soft lips. It should have been such a small thing, but it was enough to run a prickle down the side of Thairn's neck, to call forth a sigh.
The slight graze of teeth and a tug just enough for Thairn to go with it, to yield to it. And, too, for Thairn's hand to reach out and rest against the side of Illa's collar.
More, and it felt like it could vanish at any moment, left Thairn to dive fully into every sensation in case it was the last of this. But no such absence came, as those kisses drew down the curve of Thairn's jaw, as deft hands undid that careful buttoning, curious fingers ran along bare skin. Driving Thairn riven with anguished desire, because if Thairn didn't guide this, own this, surely Illa would stop wanting to do this, but if Thairn took any more control than the touch of palm to collar, it would no longer be what it felt like, an expression of Illa's desire. Desire Thairn longed for. It was still so hard to believe in, but maybe if Thairn let go to this, and Illa continued, then maybe Thairn could.
Shirt all the way unbuttoned now, and Illa's hands warm with stolen heat, drawing down Thairn's sides, curving around Thairn's ribs, brushing fingertips to the base of wings. Thairn's body swayed, longing and desire and fear of stillness and fear of movement. Thairn's hand moved to the back of Illa's collar, hopefully to be taken as reward more than direction, because for all that love of owning Illa's services and pleasures, Thairn did not want to own this. Wanted it freely given, inasmuch as it could be in a scene and under the collar.
I want to, Illa had said, and Thairn clung to that, let it ring in mind's echoes.
Illa stilled the trembling of his fingers with a firmer touch, and drew that down along the sides of Thairn's spine, trailing pressure through muscle. Brushed the waist of Thairn's jeans.
Desire flared to full flame, filled Thairn's body with the ache of it, drew his fingers around Illa's golden torc. Burned all the brighter as Illa's fingertips glided along that thin line between skin and fabric, around to button and zipper.
Thairn had a white-knuckle grip on Illa's collar now, and Thairn forced himself to unbend his fingers. To let Illa drop to his knees, wings catching and lofting on the air. That belt undone with as much precision as had fixed it into place, that button released, that zipper pulled down. And the rest pulled down also, into careful place. Until there was no barrier between them.
That first touch of Illa's lips was dizzy disbelief, the first flick of his tongue a thing of velvet lust. Thairn held careful still, as if this dream would vanish on a whisper, and felt the fearful flickers of doubt dissolve beneath the near-silent sounds of Illa's movements, the grip of hands around Thairn's waist, and the subsuming sensation of Illa's mouth. Heavens.
It didn't vanish on a whisper, nor on a moan, nor with Thairn's hands threading through Illa's short hair, Thairn's thumbs stroking Illa's temples. And it tarnished nothing to guide the rhythm, to let a "Yes, dear, yes," escape, to let fingertips brush Illa's collar and know this as service lovingly given. Nor did it end when Thairn forgot that guidance to sensation, let go into the feeling of Illa's eager mouth, Illa's hand along Thairn's spine, the graze of a palm against bared thigh.
Thairn curved a hand beneath Illa's chin, just to feel the movement as tongue and throat worked at pressure, drew down the product of Illa's efforts and kept glorious sensation continuing anew. There was something electric to it, to feel the work beneath Illa's skin, to feel muscle clench as suction pulled Thairn further into pleasure.
Thairn could feel the edge of it drawing near, sensation raw and pressing, "Dear, I'm going to--please--" and couldn't bring words to desire, because Illa doing this, choosing this, was too glorious. And Illa knew, he had to, from that, but he kept on, faster now, rocking with the force of movement, lips pulled firm and taut around Thairn. Thairn clenched fingers in Illa's hair, thrust to bring the rhythm just on beat.
"Ah--"
The wash of it filled everything, clenching and loosening Thairn from muscle to bone, weakened knees held up by Illa's steady grip, whimpers soothed by Illa's steady presence. Illa lingered all the way through completion, finally let loose at the touch of Thairn's hand on his cheek, turning up his gaze to meet Thairn's.
There was desire there, and Thairn could not mistake it, not for all the doubts in the world. In darkened eyes and reddened cheeks and careful, pleading stillness. Thairn ran touch down the side of Illa's jaw and brought a shiver forth, a longing sway against Thairn's legs.
Thairn bent to Illa, drew touch along him. And felt joy bloom with every response.
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